It was finally here. The moment I had waited for, seemingly
my entire life. I sat drinking a mimosa next to one of my best friends, as we
tried to quell our nerves. We had been over the email from Student Services at
length, read the instructions on what to do, should we not match. We sat anxiously
waiting for 10am to come. Then like clockwork, emails pinged to our phone right
before 10. A wave of anxiety overcame me. The email read “Did I match?” I
opened the email and it read “Congratulations! You have matched.” I was
immediately overcome with emotion. I don’t if the dam that had been pinning up
the anxiety finally broke, or if the waves of self-doubt that had been crashing
into me for month finally subsided. Were they happy tears? Or tears of relief?
Probably a mixture of both. I called my mother in tears, she screamed with joy.
We were beyond ecstatic. I was thrilled to have matched, but a new wave of
anxiety started to build as I began to wander where, Friday seemed so close,
yet so far!
Match Day
The process works differently at every school, but at my
school we stand next to a stage. We are called at random to go up and receive
our envelope. Our “walk up” song is played, we get our envelopes, and return to
our families to open them. You can open it on stage if you so choose, but my
nerves were not prepared for that. I watched and cheered one by one as my
friends went up to receive their envelopes. One of my med school besties
returned to the pack in tears to tell me she had matched to her #1 Dermatology
spot. I was so THRILLED for her! So proud, the testimony this girl has, I can
only hope one she will share her story. I was starting to get antsy, the crowd
was getting smaller and I still hadn’t been called. At this point I took a swig
of Jameson out of friend’s flasks, great coping mechanism, I know. And then finally,
I heard my name called. I immediately felt hot all over, as all eyes were on
me. I took a deep breathe walked up on the stage and grabbed my envelope as “Formation”
by Beyoncé played in the background. I walked off the stage and made a bee-line
for my family. This was the moment I had been waiting for all year. My fate was
literally inside this envelope. My future, our future, my happiness, our
happiness, it was all there, in my hands, and they were literally shaking, I
couldn’t wait any longer, and tore the envelope open. I screamed, my number #1 choice!! And once again was overcome by a wave
of emotion. This time I cried because in my heart, I knew I had all of my hopes
and dreams set on this ONE place. I cried because everything I had been
through, the physical, mental, emotional exhaustion, the strained relationships,
the blood, sweat, and tears, the money, the maxed out credit cards, the long
nights, the early morning, the endless exams, the non-stop exam blocks, the
shelf scores, the step exams, the BURN OUT, the sacrifices I had made, my
parents had made, my family had made, my ancestors who fought for a dream they
never came to realize, their bloodshed so that MY dream could be a reality. I
cried for so many things, but above all I cried because my God is an awesome God,
and he has shown me countless times that He has the last say. He has shown me
that above all else, there is no room in my head or heart for both worry and
faith. He has shown me the power of choosing FAITH. 
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