Match Day

Match Monday

It was finally here. The moment I had waited for, seemingly my entire life. I sat drinking a mimosa next to one of my best friends, as we tried to quell our nerves. We had been over the email from Student Services at length, read the instructions on what to do, should we not match. We sat anxiously waiting for 10am to come. Then like clockwork, emails pinged to our phone right before 10. A wave of anxiety overcame me. The email read “Did I match?” I opened the email and it read “Congratulations! You have matched.” I was immediately overcome with emotion. I don’t if the dam that had been pinning up the anxiety finally broke, or if the waves of self-doubt that had been crashing into me for month finally subsided. Were they happy tears? Or tears of relief? Probably a mixture of both. I called my mother in tears, she screamed with joy. We were beyond ecstatic. I was thrilled to have matched, but a new wave of anxiety started to build as I began to wander where, Friday seemed so close, yet so far!

Match Day

The process works differently at every school, but at my school we stand next to a stage. We are called at random to go up and receive our envelope. Our “walk up” song is played, we get our envelopes, and return to our families to open them. You can open it on stage if you so choose, but my nerves were not prepared for that. I watched and cheered one by one as my friends went up to receive their envelopes. One of my med school besties returned to the pack in tears to tell me she had matched to her #1 Dermatology spot. I was so THRILLED for her! So proud, the testimony this girl has, I can only hope one she will share her story. I was starting to get antsy, the crowd was getting smaller and I still hadn’t been called. At this point I took a swig of Jameson out of friend’s flasks, great coping mechanism, I know. And then finally, I heard my name called. I immediately felt hot all over, as all eyes were on me. I took a deep breathe walked up on the stage and grabbed my envelope as “Formation” by BeyoncĂ© played in the background. I walked off the stage and made a bee-line for my family. This was the moment I had been waiting for all year. My fate was literally inside this envelope. My future, our future, my happiness, our happiness, it was all there, in my hands, and they were literally shaking, I couldn’t wait any longer, and tore the envelope open. I screamed, my number #1 choice!! And once again was overcome by a wave of emotion. This time I cried because in my heart, I knew I had all of my hopes and dreams set on this ONE place. I cried because everything I had been through, the physical, mental, emotional exhaustion, the strained relationships, the blood, sweat, and tears, the money, the maxed out credit cards, the long nights, the early morning, the endless exams, the non-stop exam blocks, the shelf scores, the step exams, the BURN OUT, the sacrifices I had made, my parents had made, my family had made, my ancestors who fought for a dream they never came to realize, their bloodshed so that MY dream could be a reality. I cried for so many things, but above all I cried because my God is an awesome God, and he has shown me countless times that He has the last say. He has shown me that above all else, there is no room in my head or heart for both worry and faith. He has shown me the power of choosing FAITH.
-MJ

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